SUBJ: God of the Month Club Submitted to HumourNet by Jan Lewis Nan....Isis....Blog....Grandmother-Spider....Jehovah....Bob....Lugh.... . /\ . . / \ . E / () \ O r / \ d i /________\ i s n . FRIENDS, "How do you stand with the Lord?" . . "what do you mean, `which one?' ?!" . C For those of you who are unsure about your current faith or H o belief system, we offer a viable alternative. We would like u y to introduce the newest breakthrough in contemporary religion b o b t THE GOD OF THE MONTH CLUB a a r . Included in this fantastic offer: Each month you will receive d . complete rituals of the current God &/or Goddess of the month . A including what (or whom) to sacrifice. (All monetary sacrifices . l should be sent to our Board of Directors.) H l e a Yes--we are looking for people who like to pray. READ ON. c h a . Each monthly package will include: 1. A lavishly illustrated t . booklet of appropriate prayers and rituals. 2. Necessary tools e M and instructions for all prayers and rituals. 3. Where needed . a plastic injected graven images are also included. . m S m "But what will all this cost?" Mere pennies! and we guarantee h o results! Are you worried about tithing to the wrong faith? a n With God of the Month Club, you'll cover them all! Be in good n . with ALL deities! Any you can't manage for yourself--(for a small g . extra fee) our certified and bonded professionals will do your h B praying for you. (if you should end up in Hell or some other T r such region, merely send us a postcard,[sorry, no channeling] and i i we will cheerfully refund ALL of your money back. . g REMEMBER: The God of the Month Club will bring variety to your . i life, Celibacy one month, Orgies the next...A chance to travel D t to sacred shrines...companionship with like-minded members...AND a . Free Deprogramming!!!!! g . o . DON'T DELAY! CALL TODAY! n . . The Great Carrot....Cthulhu....Quetzalcoatl....Joseph Smith....Kali.... ******************************************************************** Anyone w/out a Sense of Humor Is At The Mercy of The Rest of Us. :-) ******************************************************************** To subscribe to the "HumourNet" mailing list, send the following command to "lyris@lyris.net" (without quotes): subscribe HumourNet your_name, your_city, your_state or country where "your_name" is your real name, etc. Thus, my subscription request would read: subscribe HumourNet Vince Sabio, Washington, D.C. Be sure to turn off sigs and other extraneous info in your mailer before sending a request to a list server. --961020--